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Alan Stepney · Centurion Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 845 Location:

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had
just gotten married -- for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her
questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at
80, and then about her new husband's occupation.

"He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she
wouldn't mind
telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a
living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly,
explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early
20's,
then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her
60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had
married four men with such diverse careers.

She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the
show, three to get ready, and four to go."

(Sorry Elvis.!. lol)
_________________
The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.- P. J. O'Rourke

Wocca · Scribe Joined: 06 May 2005 Posts: 961 Location:

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me."