Asia Expats Forum

wenjing*girl · Joined: 07 Feb 2005 Posts: 14 Location:

I'm from the states, living here in China now. I think that the reaction to to the following is very different between the two cultures.

Sometimes at night I can hear the sounds of fighting (between a man and woman). I will go to the window to see what's going on, feeling concerned, you know. All the people walking up and down the street are jsut passing by as if they hear nothing.

Once I saw a man in the street beating his pregnant wife. All the people in the street were just passing by like there was nothing going on. They didn't even look at the scene. (however when a guy is down the road doing a demo of lets say.... shampoo, there are 80 people crowded around staring at some guy getting his hair washed)

I was talking to a friend about this and she said that back in her hometown (village) things go on like that all the time. I asked, "Don't the village leaders do anything about it?" "No, because then that guy will go and do something bad to them." The best way to handle it is as if there was nothing there?

Why do Chinese people react like this?

(quote)
In 1964, Kitty Genovese was walking home in the Queens borough of NYC when she was attacked and stabbed by an assailant. Despite her screams and pleas for help, and the fact that people opened their windows to look, not one person helped her. The lack of action by the neighbors shocked the nation.

In America the story there is that no one took action. In China, people reacting in the same manner is not news worthy. Why?
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Mike · Site Admin Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 4512 Location:

Maybe we need a chinese person to answer that question. I would agree that it is a cultural thing--not necesarily human nature.
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Lius · Centurion Joined: 12 Oct 2004 Posts: 660 Location:

look at the thais

when an accident happened they just look and not help

perhaps if everyone understand what is

duty of care

then maybe everyone will help instead of look see

climbeverymt · Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 3 Location:

That's really sad but it's the same here in the Philippines. A lot of people think that "family affairs" should be left alone for them to resolve because they will not appreciate your "meddling" especially for places where such occurences are quite common. Apathy grows to a point where people think that "not caring" is but normal.

I've had a similar experience before. Got held up in the middle of a busy street and I tried very hard to get other people's attention. I even ran towards a car and all the driver (and his passengers) did was stare and watch. The man who held me up was quite scrawny and (stupid as it may seem for other people) I was struggling while the man was trying to relieve me of my bag and jewelries. There were more than 20 people watching and none of them helped me or called for help. During the whole debacle, I only got scared in the beginning but I was definitely furious afterwards. Suffice it to say that the culprit got away and then people started approaching me and asking if I was alright and that I was crazy trying to resist being held up cusssing

It must be a culture thing but in a way, it can also be human nature. Self-preservation, that is. Sometimes, I can't help but think that, nowadays, people are more concerned on ensuring their own safety and comfort than helping another person who is in need. I laud those people who go out of their way to help others despite odds. If only they can be grown on trees, I say there should be more of them. Laughing

21yearsinthai · Cohort Joined: 08 Sep 2004 Posts: 315 Location:

I'm curious.

When you were robbed, what weapon was used?

climbeverymt · Joined: 07 Oct 2004 Posts: 3 Location:

that's just it! he was not carrying any weapon at all. and my mom told me that those people did not help me tbecause they might be thinking that this guy had a weapon. still, 20 to 1????? banghead

Mike · Site Admin Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 4512 Location:

thats a pretty sad story but I'm afraid you are right about self-preservation being the motive.

I believe that if one person had made an effort to help you then others would have joined in and overwhelmed the thief. No heroes around that day violent

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tennis_ball · Joined: 10 Oct 2004 Posts: 3 Location:

I am a Chinese who has been living overseas for many years. I won't say who is right or wrong on this case, but I will quote what my American friend said to me, "the chinese and americans think differently when they see the same thing, but if I were brought up in China, i would think like the chinese".

Regarding this specific case, what the villigers have told you has already explained it.

tongzhi · Joined: 06 Oct 2004 Posts: 9 Location:

i think we need to put the perspective in context of the culture of that location, need to understand the events that leads to the happenings and emotional state of the people in the actions, know all the details before you even make a decision or a opinion of the incident, in other words the how and what will explain the why...they must a reason for that case. since we are not there, no appropriate to react to the incident and compare it with our values in our country. anyway, it will hurt you more than hurt them.
same for thailand, people who do anything to help, unles they are absolutely sure they can be of help otherwise they might be implicated if the situation becomes worse.
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wenjing*girl · Joined: 07 Feb 2005 Posts: 14 Location:

climbeverymt:
I can't help but wonder if the people were indifferent because you are a "foreigner". It seems that maybe the people had the choice of who to "support": their countryman, or a rich foreigner.
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Mike · Site Admin Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 4512 Location:

Lola8288 · Joined: 01 Mar 2005 Posts: 12 Location:

I'm sorry but I have to admit that maybe only americans would go and try to do something. In Paris, noone will move his/her a** helping a girl who is being molested, nor interfere in a fight between husband and wife. Chinese are no different in that matter.
I have been hassled many times (in the streets, in the subway), and so had my girl friends, noone of them ever being rescued by the crowd watching. Society matter, cultural difference, who knows ? banghead

howell · Joined: 16 Apr 2005 Posts: 9 Location:

whether it's in the village or town, many people would save and help the woman beeing beaten. China is so big and we have so many people , it's hard to say what happens.

Wocca · Scribe Joined: 06 May 2005 Posts: 970 Location:

There's a Chinese saying ... " Don't make trouble when you are NOT in trouble" ...

As mentioned earlier in this thread, there can be more to a situation than meets the eye.

I'm not necessarily condoning doemstic violence. However as a foreigner, you really could be inviting trouble by getting involved in something that doesn't concern you. banghead

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Edward Gilson · Novice Joined: 29 Nov 2004 Posts: 38 Location:

This stuff happens everyday and our "global" society has become tolerant and receptive to it. Sad, sad, sad. When there are compelling circumstances i.e. being robbed in public, we as civilized human beings, have an obligation to help. Some will call it bravery while others will call it stupid but put yourself in the victims shoes. If Joe Public would take a stand, we would spare many a victim the heartache and pain of such a situaton. What if it was your wife...your son...or your daugther? Wouldn't you want someone to help them?