Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 8:56 am Post subject: Jokes
The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in
Ireland. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a
young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.
The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the open door of the
pub and sat down next to the woman. 'Mrs Fitzgerald,' he said
sternly. 'This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't
you let me take you home?' 'Sure,' she said with a slur, obviously
very drunk.
When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back
and forth.
The Reverend realized that she'd had far too much to drink and
grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their
balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up on
top of Mrs.Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The pub landlord looked over and said, 'Oi Mate, we won't have any
of that carrying on in this pub.'
The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, 'But you don't
understand, I'm Pastor Flapps.' The landlord nodded and said, 'Oh
well, if you're that far in, you might as well finish.' _________________ Asia Expats Forum Expat Friends Dating
Parents took their young son on vacation to a nudist beach. After spending some time happily digging in the sand, the boy ran back to his mother and said, "Mom, I saw ladies with bigger boobies than yours."
His mother replied, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
The boy went off to play again but a few minutes later ran back to his mother.
"Mom, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's."
His mother said, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are."
The boy scampered off again but came back a short while later. "Mom, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I've ever seen, and the more he talked, the dumber and dumber he became!"
Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives. After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing. The following week they met up again to compare notes.
Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, 'Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!
'The engaged woman giggled and said, 'That's pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only made love all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, 'I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask, ready for action. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?
Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home!
A man was found dead in his home over the weekend in the Western suburbs, near Berea.
Detectives at the scene found the man face down in his bathtub.
The tub had been filled with milk, sugar, and cornflakes. A banana was sticking out of his ass.
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Album
FAQ
Quizzes
Search
Memberlist
Usergroups
Register
Profile
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
