An Irishman goes to the Doctor with botty problems....
"Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya woot".
So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look.
"Incredible" he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here."
Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, and
then a 10 pound note appears. "This is amazing!" exclaims the
Doctor. ''What do you want me to do?"
"Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out, man!" shrieks the patient.
The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears,
and another and another and another, etc....
Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.
"Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batt er. Just out of
interest, How moch was in dare den?"
The Doctor counts the pile of cash."1,990 exactly."
"Ah, dat'd be roit,'' says the Irishman
I knew I wasn't feeling two grand.."
The scene was Mount Olympus, where Bacchus, the Greek god of wine,
had thrown a party for a pair of visiting Roman deities -- Ceres, the
goddess of agriculture, and Janus, the two-faced god of doors and
beginnings. Everyone overdid it, more or less. Ceres at one point was
staggering and turning in circles; Janus, equally submerged, was
trying to dance with her. Bacchus feared that the pair might fall
over, so he went to steady them. This marked the first time that a
whirled Ceres was held with a double-header.
A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying,
*****"I must have taken Leif off my census."
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