Posted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 7:29 am Post subject: Brokenback Ranch
This ones pretty good Maythu
Brokeback Mountain Ranch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.
She was a very good looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch,
but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad
in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.
She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied, she
decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him
around the house than the drunk.
He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and
knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the
ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to
the hired hand, "You have done a really good job and the ranch looks
great.
You should go into town and kick up your heels."
The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.
However one o'clock came and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no
hired hand. He returned around two-thirty and upon entering the
room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass
of wine waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.
Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my socks."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
"Now take off my bra."
Again with trembling hands he did as he was told and dropped it to
the floor.
Now," she said, "take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and said, "Now... If you ever wear my clothes into
town again, I'll fire you on the spot
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing ?" she asked.
"They're mating, " her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top? " she asked.
"That's a Daddy Longlegs, " her father answered.
"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question,
he replied " No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs "
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat away.
" Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback- Mountain s--t in our garden. " she said.
A mother and father took their 6 year old son to a nude beach. As the
boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy, pleased with the answer, went to play in the ocean but returned to tell his mother that many of the men have larger willies than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returned to the ocean to play. Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Hey Mom, you'd better come and see this...Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong, One who's willy's thick and long. One who thinks before he speaks. When promises to call, he won't wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed, and when I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, messages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who will make love to my mind, knows just what to say, when I ask " How big's my behind? "
One who'll make love till my body's a twitching, in the hall, the garden and kitchen! I pray that this man will love me to no end, and never attempt to shag my best friend. And as I kneel and pray by my bed, I look at the dickhead you sent me instead. Amen....
" A Boy's Prayer "
I pray for a girl who gives great head.... Amen....
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
Maythu I hope you get to see this and hope alls going well.....
A Special for Maythu
Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room...Donald
wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said "No."
Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.
"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald went down to the lobby and asked hotel clerk if they had condoms.
"Yes, we do," the clerk said, and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to
Donald. The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put that on your bill?
"No!" Donald quacked, "What kind of a friggen' pervert do you think I am?"
Start from Thanksgiving my Mom was in and out from the hopital and rehap for 3 times. She lost her battle. She passed away Feb 20th, 2007. I miss her so much. She was so ready but I was not prepare for this. It was passed 2 months already but seems like yesterday.
Later...
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