Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 1:04 pm Post subject: You know you've been in Japan too long when...
....you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking. ....when you think it's alright to stick your head into a stranger'sapartment to see if anybody's home. ....your top is thinning and you consider it "barcode style". ....when you find nothing unusual in a television commercial for candy in which a model dressed in a high school girl's uniform comes up behind another model dressed in a high school girl's uniform, grabs her left breast, gives a devilish grin, and skips away. ....you think the natural location for a beer garden is on a roof. ....you think that you can impress foreigners by drinking Budweiser. ....you ride a Honda Cub with a sidecar. ....you think nothing about seeing 20 ads for women's' sanitary napkins during one movie. ....you have run out of snappy comebacks to compliments about your chopstick skills. ....you think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?". ....you remember when Yamamoto Linda came on at the very end of the show (NHK's Yume de aimashou) and kept her mouth shut. ....you have discovered the sexual attraction of high school navy uniforms. ....when you no longer find anything unusual in the concept of "Vermont curry". ....you think 4 layers of wrapping is reasonable for a simple piece of merchandise. ....you don't find anything strange about a city that puts a life sized, red-and-white painted Eiffel tower imitation in its centre, as well as a scale model of the Versaille Palace for its Crown Prince. ....you are only slightly puzzled by "Melty Kiss." ....a new Gaijin moves to your neighborhood and you know immediately you will get his mail for a while. ....you think the meaning of a red traffic light is: "Hurry up! 10 cars now in quick succession, and then we'll think about slowing down." ....when you get on a train with a number of gaijin on it and you feel uneasy because the harmony is broken. ....you ask fellow foreigners the all-important question "How long have you been here?" in order to be able to properly categorize them. ....when looking out the window of your office, you think "Wow, so many trees!" instead of "Wow, so much concrete!" ....when you find yourself thinking "great it's almost time for Paul Harvey, have to turn on the radio." ....you think NHK is "the Japanese BBC". ....you think curry rice is food. ....the Yakult lady knows you by name. ....you think it is quite OK to play volleyball with 12 people per team. ....when in the middle of nowhere, totally surrounded by rice fields and abundant nature, you aren't surprised to find a drink vending machine with no visible means of a power supply... ....and when you think nothing of it when that lonely vending machine says 'thank you' after you buy a coke. ....you stand before a sign on a bridge and ponder the possible meanings of "Bridge Freezes Before Road." ....it takes fifteen seconds of deep thought to recall the first name of the President of the United States. ....you have a favorite bush to pee behind. ....the TV commercials make sense to you. ....a non-Japanese sits down next to you on the train and you get up and move. You're not prejudiced, but who knows what they might do? ....you are outwardly appalled to see someone pour miso shiru over rice, but do it in private yourself (neko meshi). ....when having gaijin around you is a source of stress. ....you only have 73 transparent, plastic umbrellas in your entr _________________ Asia Expats Forum Expat Friends Dating
... you expect to buy an individually wrapped potato in the supermarket.
... you don't think it unusual for a truck to play "it's a small world" when backing up.
... you are in a shop and they play "auld lang siene," so you leave.
... you never assume to know what you're going to eat before entering a restaurant.
... you rush onto an escalator and just stand there.
... you don't hesitate to put us$100 into a vending machine.
... you are visibly upset if you have to wait more then 2 minutes for a taxi.
... you have trouble figuring out how many syllables there are in words like 'building.'
... a non-japanese sits down next to you on a train and you get up to move. you're not prejudiced, but who knows what they'll do?
... you have mastered the art of simultaneous bowing and hand-shaking.
... you think us$20 isn't such a bad price for a paperback.
... you run for the yamanote line, pushing people left and right because you know damn good and well there won't be another one for at least two minutes.
... your idea of a larger home is an extra 10 square meters.
... you think that "Lets SPORTS yOUNG gAY CluB" is a perfectly normal t-shirt logo for a middle-aged lady.
... you go for a drink with friends back home and start pouring everyone's beer.
... you start bowing on the telephone when you end the conversation.
... you can't find the 'open' and 'close' buttons in the elevator because they're in english.
... you enjoy drinking until you vomit.
... you go to a bookshop with the intention of reading all the interesting magazines and putting them back on the shelf.
... AND ...
... you know a fun time is not a fun time without the photographic evidence.
no truer words, brother ... in all fairness, though, you do get change back from it. just that the whole idea of "letting loose" of that amount for that long is ... ummmm, uncomfortable? ... i guess for some people. ("that gottdamn thing's gonna steal it!" )
even though I've been in Japan my whole life... I notice these things in my friends who are Expat Kids... _________________ Check out my site: http://www.expatkid.net
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